Master (of Arts, and of Matter)

This blog seems to have become a landing place for my words when nothing else seems to stick. Or when I am living and reflecting in a dreamlike part of my own world. Here, I collect the glimpses of a wisdom that I cannot call solely my own. I connect to something bigger than myself, or tinier, I guess you could say, because it lives in the smallest of places and yet is everywhere.

It is that force of life.

Of creation.

I’m reading in The Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East by Baird T. Spalding, which I know has had a huge influence on my father. It’s been interesting and illuminating to finally read it for myself.

Creating for creation’s sake

In the beginning, there was nothing.

And although there was nothing yet, an expectancy began to tingle. The nothingness was shivering with anticipation.

Not because it was lonely, for the nothingness could not know what it was to miss a something. Nor because it was fed up with itself, as the nothingness knew only what it was to be nothing. But maybe it was a little bit curious, because the nothingness had seen something growing in other nothingnesses and felt like trying it out for itself.

Most importantly, there was a desire. To move, to grow, to expand… and to create.

To be more than nothing.

To be something.

An anything.

And the desire made the nothingness burst open and fall out into so many pieces that it couldn’t even trace where it had fallen down. It was so strong that holding it for any amount of time caused shivers and widened pupils.

The desire had no clear direction. It went off excitedly in one direction and then would get distracted by another inspiration going some other way, which it would pursue just as enthusiastically.

And it felt very strongly for every of those directions… but it mostly was just burning to express.

A yearning, from deep inside the core of the nothingness, to go outward.

To make sound.

To use voice.

To speak.

To sing.

To write.

To yell.

To teach.

A honest, pure desire.

I am all of this, and also not.

“Ask yourself, who do you want to be? Figure out for yourself what makes you happy, no matter how crazy it may sound to other people.”

So my randomised wise quote of the day tells me. Apparently this is something that Arnold Schwarzenegger said. I wish I could attribute it to someone less buff and more… spiritual, maybe, but this just goes to show how everyone has something meaningful to say even if they are not completely your taste.

These words hit home. Right now I am at a crossroads, or so it feels.

#009. the knowingness

Intuition is for me the tiny knowing
that my feet and heart will take me
where I need to go

The little tug
at edge of thinking
pulls me down to pause
and feel

#008. why you are not nature

Nature does not weep over dead flowers

Nature does not celebrate it when they bloom

She simply is.

#007. in my trail

I walk my path
on the outstretched world
where only my footsteps fall

Trees as pillars marking the path
surrounding me with green-feathered wings
guiding my path of light
steering my way
cheering me on

And if I leave them behind
they were loved
and so needed for where they were
but a new time needs new heroes

The leaves above me rustle
birds leap from excitement
I think
there is an angel following
my footsteps

#006. a poet’s perfectionism

Today, I wanted to write about everything.

So I wrote about nothing.

Because, really, they are one and the same.

#005. a train ride through marshlands

You can be just as busy or accomplished as you like.

When it comes down to it,
the stalks are still the stalks.
The reed is still the reed.
The wind is still the wind.

Why would you be any different?

How To Keep Going: Permission To Make Mistakes (what I need to tell myself)

You’re inspired, you’re creating stuff, you’re on a roll. You would be gathering momentum — but then you stop. Something else has caught your eye, or life needs tending, and off you trot into the wild lands of the known. The project lies, deserted, and nags at the back of your mind. But do you heed its call?

It’s easier — and safer — to ignore the call. Make up excuses. Think you’re not good enough. Dream up shinies to add to the New Project Pile. This has been my practise for a long time, but I’ve had enough of it.

All projects have potential.

That dream vision I had when I decided to start it? Of it flourishing and being of value and helping me and my audience grow? It’s possible! Of course it is!

#004

My heart knows
                     what she desires
My body knows
              how she feels
My mind knows
        that’s not gonna happen

What if
           I muted my mind
Let heart &
                body decide
For a day
                     and see what would happen?